Sex and other College Problems
by Hicc
Summary: A series of drabbles revolving around Hiccup and Astrid in college.
1. Girls

Hiccup shifted in his sleep, his dreams wonderfully warm and tingly as beautiful women of all sorts touched and teased him. The pleasant feeling of warm lips wrapped around him felt so unbelievably real. He looked down to see which of the beauties was doing such a wonderful job when a flash of bright light roused him from his sleep. He groaned and shielded his eyes from the sun that spilled through the curtains...but the warm softness of lips on his cock didn't stop.

He looked down to see a wash of raven hair splayed over his lap and traveling down a lean, pale back. He groaned again, the mass of hair bobbing up and down. He gripped the sheets as his toes curled and his eyes rolled back into his head, grunting as a rush of fluid ejected itself into the waiting mouth of the girl with the head in his lap.

"Fuck" he sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Hell of a way to wake a guy up."

"You're welcome" the girl said, looking up. "Had to find a way to thank you for the amazing sex last night, and I'm a shitty cook."

He shrugged, "Couldn't have been that good, and there's no food out there anyway."

"Seriously, best lay I've had in months. Most guys here thinks size is all that matters" she said with a giggle, crawling her beautiful naked body up the bed. God she was gorgeous, all pale perfect skin, utterly hairless except for the beautiful black strands cascading down her shoulders, and the curly black patch on her mound. "When all the girls know it's substance over circumference." She giggled and kissed him, then stood up. "If you ever wanna hook up again, my name's Heather. You can find me in the math lab most days." She winked at him and scribbled what he assumed was her number on a sheet of paper on his desk. She dressed quickly and left without much small talk, leaving Hiccup to bask in the awesome morning and the epic night he only kind of remembered.

00000000

Psych was such a boring class. Total waste of time Astrid could be using to be on the field, or in the weight room, or anywhere but here. Getting better, getting faster, hitting harder, and running faster. Such a waist. But she had to have the credits to play, and the easier the class the better. Easy classes meant easy A's which meant a high GPA which meant she got to play. But still, this was torture. And the brunet a row in front of her wasn't helping.

The fucker was asleep. Snoring like he was snoozing in his bed on a Sunday afternoon.

"Asshole" she muttered under her breath.

When the bell finally rang she made a break for the library and the coffee shop, she desperately needed a shot or two of espresso. The line was huge, almost out the door, and it made her scowl, stepping to the back. She checked her watch, only twelve minutes before her next class started. That should be plenty of time...right?

Two minutes passed and the line hadn't moved, she leaned to her left to see what the holdup was, and scoffed. That same kid from psych was holding up the line with his order. How had he gotten there ahead of her, hadn't he been asleep? What was he doing anyway, getting sixteen drinks? When he finally stepped off, his order taken, the line started to move normally again. Still, Astrid was almost late, running the last few feet and slipping in as the hall doors closed and left.

History was slightly less boring, if only because their professor was actually good at his job, but no less meaningless to Astrid, aside from the grade. Which had been posted after last Friday's midterm, as the professor was explaining. Astrid scanned the results after class, looking for her student number. She smiled at the grade, 98%, second highest in the whole class. Not a perfect score but more than satisfactory. And with only one other student to beat her, probably a history major anyway. Finally the day was looking up.

A body next to her made her turn. It was the boy from earlier checking his grades. He smiled, finger on what she guessed was his own number, and walked away. Astrid watched him leave then found his number. 100%, a perfect score.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me" she said aloud, drawing some odd looks from a few students studying in the hallway, waiting for the next class to start. She shot them a scalding glare and noses disappeared behind books once again.

By lunch Astrid was fuming, who was this guy to just sweep into her life and ruin her day. Where had he even come from? She had never noticed him before, was someone up stares just tormenting her? She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't see the student in front of her and bumped into him, almost, but not quite, spilling her lunch.

"Hey, would you watch where..." She stopped. "You!" It was the same kid from earlier.

"Yeah, me. And I _was_ watching, how about you not run into people." Astrid was stunned.

"Yeah...we...wha..." He lifted an eyebrow.

This kid was gorgeous!

God this wasn't fair! Why was he so god damned hot?! And why hadn't she noticed? He had been two feet from her not twenty minutes ago. She was so awed by his beauty that she momentarily forgot her ire.

Momentarily.

"You've been nothing but trouble for me all day! Sleeping through Psych, almost making me late for class with coffee and beating me in History. Not...not cool dude." It was all she had, too flustered and tried to come up with anything really cutting.

"Oh?" He frowned, apparently not liking that idea. "Then let me buy you lunch, It's the least I could do."

"Wait...wait. You ruin my day and then expect me to let you buy me lunch? I don't date assholes!"

"Whoa, who said anything about a date, I offered to buy you lunch and…hey! I'm not an asshole."

"So are."

"Arg, whatever. Besides. I offered to buy you lunch, where, when and who you eat it with is up to you."

"Whom" she said, frowning.

"Huh?"

"With whom, ever, not who ever."

"Is that a yes?" He asked, and it's almost hopeful. Almost cute. She frowns and hesitates, letting him stew...and thinking what her dignity was worth.

"Sure." She swears if it hadn't been...a while, she wouldn't be doing this.

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"So? What was it like? Does he have a big dick? Was he circumcised or all natural?" Astrid's roommate was less than tactful.

"It was lunch Ruff, not even a date, just lunch. I didn't fuck him in the bathroom or anything."

"Maaaaan, you're so boring" the other blond whines in her gravelly voice. Astrid rolls her eyes. "Okay, so dirty bathroom sex aside-"

"Which I didn't have" Astrid reminds her.

"Whatever. What's he like?"

"What do you mean what's he like? He's a guy. Six foot, maybe more, red brown hair, green eyes, pale skin. Fucking N7 jacket that I don't get. Seriously what does that even mean?"

"Eh, I think it's a video game thing. Tuff wouldn't shut up about it, like, two years ago."

"Really? I thought it might have been an engineering thing. Oh, he's an Engineering major."

"Duh and or hello, what _about _him?"

"What do you want to hear? He's cute, and smart and kinda...unfairly funny."

"How can he be unfairly funny?"

"Because" Astrid laments. "He's all tall and hot and kinda sexy in a dorky, nerdy way and on top of it all he's funny."

"Like, cleaver funny or stupid funny."

"Clever funny. Like…really…charmingly clever funny." It felt like she was blushing, was she blushing? She really, really wished she wasn't blushing.

"As your best friend and roommate, I highly suggest you fuck this guy immediately. And none of that kid stuff either."

"Ruff."

"I mean ball slappy, cock sucking, pussy splooshing-"

"Ruff!"

"Nail scratching, toe curling, mind blowing-"

"Ruff!"

"Hair tossing, ass smacking, loud screaming"

"Ruff!"

"What! You haven't had a guy over in ages and you sure as shit aren't getting laid anywhere else."

"Okay, five minutes ago you were sure I fucked him in the bathroom."

"Oh come on, you're not that dirty." Astrid groaned and rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to bed."

"Dude...it's like 9."

"Don't remind me!"


	2. Sex

It was asked for, and I kinda wanted to do a follow up so, here it is. Sorta. Whatever. Oh hey, fair warning. Not okay for chitlins. Lots of bad words and sex and stuff.

The first thing that Astrid noticed when she woke up that morning was that she was not alone. The second was that the bed smaller than hers, which was why she knew she was not alone. There was a body next to her, a very hot body at that. Not in the attractive sort of hot, it was spooned up against her back, but in the physically heat radiating sort of hot. Seriously, had she fallen asleep next to a furnace? The third thing she noticed was that the body next to her was slender, lean, and very definitely male. The hard dick resting in the crux of her ass was...honestly not as unpleasant as it probably should have been. Actually...it was kinda nice.

As the haze lifted from her sleep addled brain, she recalled the night before. The date she hadn't wanted to go on, the charming boy she hated to like, and how eager she was to come up to his room for a drink or two. Which led her to her current situation. In his bed, her body delightfully sore after a long night of good, rough and much needed sex. She grinned, totally unable to help it. It had been good. It had been better than good. She wanted to be concerned that the nerdy kid from class apparently had more experience in bed than she did. But couldn't bring herself to care. Not at all.

In the long run it didn't really matter. She had gotten laid. After a dry spell longer then she cared to admit, she had gotten laid. Really, really well. Her partner murmured and shifted, slowly waking up. She said nothing, just lay there with his arm across her shoulders, unbelievably happy. Happier than she should have been after a hook up.

"Morning" he mumbled softly into her hair.

"Morning" she returned, much more alert than he.

"Last night was..."

"Really nice," she answered. "I hate to say it, but I needed it." She sat up as he rolled onto his back, apparently ready to go back to sleep.

"See, now I find that hard to believe," he said, covering his eyes with his palms. Astrid rolled rolled her eyes.

"And just why is that?" She asked a little too cynically. She had heard all this stupid morning after romantic pillow talk bullshit before. He would tell her that a girl as pretty as she was should have no trouble finding casual sex anywhere she wanted and with whomever she wanted to screw. It was old, and totally wrong. "Is this the part where you tell me I'm too pretty or too funny to have a dry spell?"

"No" the boy said. "I just wouldn't figure a girl who gave head like you do would ever have trouble finding sex when she needed it." Astrid turned a shade of red she had never experienced before. The boy laughed.

"Hiccup!" She shouted, more of whined really. "That's not funny!" Hiccup, what kind of a name was Hiccup? Not that she really had any right to judge, she had spent enough of the night moaning, sighing and screaming it for her opinion to really count. Granted, that also meant she had spent most of the night moaning, so that was a plus.

"Is, totally is," he said, still chuckling. "You want some breakfast?"

"Oh, fucking and feasting. You sure know how to treat a girl" she said with a snide smirk.

"Shut up, god," He rubbed his face and sat up, bare, pale chest too appealing. "It's like you're afraid I'm going to kick you out or something."

"N-no. So not!" He stopped rubbing his face and Astrid froze.

"You are, aren't you?!" Fuck, perceptive too. "You're totally afraid I am going to kick you out."

"N...no. Why would I be?" She defended herself poorly.

"You tell me. I kinda thought I made it clear last night that you could stick around for however long you wanted."

"You made it clear you liked fucking me. Fucking and feelings are two totally different things."

"So you do have feelings for me then." Astrid's brain shut off. Had she really just said that she had feelings for him?

"I...no...I mean...just." Hiccup was laughing, which made her glare.

"It's not a crime" Hiccup said, entirely too sweet, too fucking perfect.

"I just...you know, trying to protect myself, I guess." She shrugged.

"That's fair, but you didn't drop the L word or anything. And it's not like I climb into bed with just anyone, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Wha...hey that's my line...sort of." How was this even happening? Astrid was always the one making guys feel uncomfortable about staying too long in the morning, Astrid did the kicking out, Astrid did the heart breaking. What eh fuck was this, opposite day? Weren't college guys supposed to be insufferable poon hounds like that snotfaced idiot on the football team? Didn't they all just want a good fuck and then for you to leave?

She sighed and fell back onto the mattress, deflated and emotionally spent.

"Yeah, sure." She said through her bangs.

"Sure what?" Hiccup asked, sounding as confused as she was.

"Breakfast. Totally down for breakfast. Unless you wanted to fool around some more." It was supposed to be a joke, but she could feel Hiccup smiling.

"Well, I mean, I won't say no." She groaned and rolled her eyes. "What?"

"I was kidding!" She shouted, but was also grinning.

"Ohhhh, oh, sorry. I, uh..."

"Shut up and get over here" she snapped. "You can make this up to me by eating me out for breakfast."

"Funny, that's exactly what I was thinking. Cup of coffee, short stack of pancakes and a side of Astrid pussy."

"Side!? For all the shit you've put me through in the last week? You're getting an entree and maybe seconds, just for spite!"

"Yes ma'am!"

It was kind of ridiculous how good at oral Hiccup was. It was like he actually liked doing it, and the fact that she hadn't shaved in a while didn't seem to bother him either. She kinda wondered what he would be like if she was smooth, and if he kept up with that tongue work she would definitely be finding out. He would focus on her clit for a while, get her to the point of mewling and writhing before relenting and shift his focus to her labia, sticking his tongue in her and wiggling it around in the most amazing way possible.

"So, nyh, happy with Breakfast so far?" She asked, way too breathless after only a few minutes of attention. Granted, looking down between her knees and seeing that head of auburn hair feasting on her helped. A lot. "Fuck how are you this good?" She groaned, her head falling back into the pillows, hips rolling against his face totally without her consent.

"Lots of practice" he said between slurpy, sloppy licks. She groaned loudly and grabbed his har, pulling him into her. It probably shouldn't have been hot that Hiccup liked to eat lots of different pussy, but it so was. "Is it paying off?"

"God damn right it is." Granted, it had been a while prior to last night, but Hiccup was getting her close way, way faster than any other guy had. When his nose brushed her clit while his tongue was buried in her it was all over. She let out a loud shriek and came on the spot. It took her two whole minutes for her clit to stop throbbing and another ten for her to come down. Far and away the best oral sex of her life. Her afterglow was, not so much interrupted by but enhanced by his voice.

"So, how about breakfast?"

"Yeah...sure..." she said, her eyes smirking as she opened them. She rolled over and wrapped her hand around his hard cock. "Mind if I get mine in bed?"

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"Okay, dish." Everything about sitting with her roommate in their apartment felt familiar that afternoon, expect that Astrid was trying to get homework done this time. Which made this infinitely more infuriating.

"I'm a lady Ruff, I don't kiss and tell" she said, scribbling a few lines in her note book, her gargantuan Art History book resting on her lap.

"Bull shit! You can't pull that 'I'm a lady' crap with me. I've seen you fuck."

And there went three hours of concentration. Astrid shut her book, because no more work was getting done with it that night.

"You promised me we would never talk about that again." She said flatly, as if reminding a child of their punishment.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Ruff said with a shrug. "We had a threesome together. So what, it was hot."

"It's not a big deal" Astrid snapped. "I mean, it was fun and exciting but. Well it's more of you than I want to see again."

"You see me naked on an almost a daily basis" Ruffnut reminded her.

"Locker rooms and streaking don't count. And it's not my fault you won't wear your towel out of the bathroom. Besides, seeing you naked and seeing you naked with a cock in your pussy? Two, totally different situations."

"Whatever you say" Ruffnut shrugged, waving off the comment. "But seriously, as your friend and roommate, how was it?"

"It was..." Astrid sighed, relenting. "It was really nice."

"It was nice...that's it?" Ruffnut looked somewhere between disappointed and disgusted.

"Yes, that's it. We went to dinner, split the check, walked through the park, went back to his place for drinks, and I spent the night. Yes, we had sex" Astrid said, anticipating the question on Ruffnut's lips. "And it was good, it was really good. Hiccup-"

"Hiccup? His name is Hiccup?" There was a pause, followed by loud, cackling laughter. "Oh my god please tell me that's his birth name" she chortled.

"No." She said, annoyed. She didn't even know why, she knew this was coming. "It was just a stupid nickname he got as a kid and it stuck and it's..."

"Shit that has got to be the weirdest thing to hear ever." Astrid tried to explain, but Ruffnut's comment had thrown her off.

"Wait, what? Why would it be weird to hear?"

"Oh Hiccup!" Ruffnut shouted in mock ecstasy. "Hiccup, fuck me harder Hiccup, Oh god, Hiccup HICCUP HIIICUUUUP-"

"Alright, I get it" Astrid said going red. Ruffnut fell into a fit of giggles. Writhing around on the couch, flailing in laughter. "Shut up!"

"The neighbors...oh my god the neighbors." Ruffnut appeared to be having trouble breathing, meaning the conversation was over. Astrid growled and threw a pillow at her, taking her homework into her room in a huff. Ruffnut just kept laughing, not even noticing that Astrid had left, continuing to call out in mock orgasm at Astrid's expense. Ruffnut would be doing double wind sprints tomorrow, Astrid would see to it.

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Hiccup yawned walking into his cramped little bedroom. The apartment style dorm rooms were nice but the bed rooms were tinny, like, literally half the size of the old shoeboxes that the older dorm buildings had. He set his bag down next to his bed gingerly so as not to harm the laptop within, and tossed his phone onto his bed, along with his keys and wallet.

As he was peeling off his hoody his phone vibrated. Tossing the hoody on the floor Hiccup picked his phone up to see what it was.

A text from Astrid.

"Wanna hook up tonight?"

Hiccup blinked, rereading the text then reading it a third time. Was that even a question? Was something wrong? Was somebody playing a prank on him? He unlocked the screen and brought up his text window, typing out a hasty response.

"Yeah. Everything okay?"

A few seconds later he got his reply.

"Yes."

"No."

"Can I come over? I miss you."

"No, I'm lying, we need to talk."

"NO! not like that."

"I just need someone to talk too. Someone that isn't my loud mouthed, horny assed roommate."

Hiccup was lost, clearly missing important information.

"Okay, just come over."

He pocketed his phone and scrambled to find something clean that made him look, well, not like a single guy with no girlfriends. A knock on the door broke him out of his frantic clothes searching. There was no way that could be her, Astrid's apartment was on the other side of campus and down two blocks, no way she got here that fast. He opened the door and sure enough.

"Hi."

"Astrid, I...that was fast."

"I was in the neighborhood," She explained, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"Um, dressed like that?"

Astrid was dressed up in a really nice brown skirt with a blue top and heels. Her hair was done up in a gorgeous braid and she was wearing what Hiccup guessed was really nice perfume.

"Yeah...well...I kinda, might have wanted to come by." Whas she blushing, why was she blushing?

Hiccup lifted an eyebrow.

"Would you just let me in" she groaned. Hiccup stepped aside, the blond storming in. "Sorry. I just...I'm not used to this."

"Uh, yeah. I know what you mean." Hiccup closed the door behind her and followed her to the couch. "Speaking of, what is...this?" He asked, gesturing between them.

"I don't know" Astrid said with a sad sort of smile. "That's why I'm not used to it." He nodded his understanding.

"Are we...dating?"

"No. Yes. Maybe? Fuck I don't know!"

"Okay" he said, trying to be helpful. "Let's start with what you do know."

"Not a lot" Astrid admitted. "I know you're hot, you're charming, I know I really like fucking you and that's about it."

"We had sex once."

"Twice."

"Okay, twice. But hell two times doesn't really even tell you if I am good in bed," he said, trying not to upset her. "Maybe I was just having a good night."

"If that was 'just a good night' it was a really good night."

"Okay, fair, but two times shacking up does not a relationship make."

"Do you want a relationship?"

"Jee, I don't know, I get so much pussy these days."

"Ass."

"Well what do you want me to say Astrid? I barely know you, you barely know me. Lets give it a few weeks before we talk about relationships and stuff. What has got you so stressed out anyway?"

Astrid groaned and sank into the couch, staring at the wall. Hiccup waited, not really sure how to push the conversation forward and too scared of hurting her feelings or upsetting her to try.

"My sister is getting married." She said, forlornly. "Found out about an hour ago."

"Congratulations?"

She glared at him.

"Okay what?"

"Nothing. I know, it's stupid. It's just," she sighed and sank even deeper into the couch. "Ever since my sister met her boyfriend a few years ago, my mom has been drilling me about my love life. She wants to know about every guy I talk too, hang out with, she even wants to know when I'm sleeping with someone."

"That's kinda creepy" Hiccup offered, not sure at all what to say.

"Ya think? Normally girls wouldn't dream of telling their parent's that they are fucking at all, let alone who they are fucking with!" She groaned again. "I guess its because she wants grandkids so bad. But here I am, single and uninterested for the most part, and then I meet you and we hook up and it's really fucking awesome and..." She sighs, rubbing her forehead. "And I guess I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to find 'the one' and breed so my mom has someone to baby...and I don't know who else to vent too."

"Look." Hiccup sighed and sunk into the couch to look at her. "I know what it feels like to have a parent on your back all the time, pushing you to do what they want, but you can't let it get you down. I mean, you gotta do you, right? And not give a fuck about what they want yo uto do."

"Right" Astrid agreed. "I mean, I'm not sure I really ever want to get married. I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like I am drowning in dick or something it's just, I don't know, right now its not really for me. There's something kind of attractive about not being tied down, getting to go where ever you want to and not leave someone behind."

"I know what you mean," Hiccup said, looking at the dark tv screen. "I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to just cut and run and go on an adventure somewhere far away, no one to worry about impressing or disappointing. Just yourself and your bag and the world at your feet."

"You know, you're a pretty cool guy Hiccup. If I ever was to date someone...I could see myself dating you."

"Aw shit," he said with a snarky shrug. "You just want me for my body."

"You're not wrong" Astrid said, wiggling her eyebrows at him. With a playful smirk on her lips she crawled over him and straddled his lap, sitting on his thighs. "You know...we could still hook up if you wanted too."

"Um, duh and or hello."

Aside from Heather, girls didn't generally show much interest in Hiccup. And if he was really honest with himself, Heather carried more about what was between his legs and how he used it than she did about who he was. Maybe Astrid did too, but he really didn't think so. And even if she did, he would at least enjoy the ride.

With a seductive little grin on her lips Astrid took his hand and placed it on her ass, under her skirt. Hiccup blushed, feeling the soft flesh and firm muscle of her bare ass cheek on his palm.

"Are you?"

"Easy cowboy, what kind of girl do you think I am. I don't just walk around in a skirt without panties on." She smirked and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "It's a thong."

Hiccup went so hard so fast it hurt.

"Fuck," he groaned.

"I take it you like that" she said, rocking her hips against his. He nodded, eyes shut to to keep himself under control.

"Kinda to the point of a fetish," he admitted dryly.

"Oh, it'll have to stay on then" she said lowly. "So, can we fuck here or will someone walk in on us?"

"Mmmm, don't care" he groaned, palming her ass and kissing her neck. She moaned softly in his ear.

"Me either." She reached down between them and undid his belt, or at least tried too. After a few seconds of fussing, Hiccup reached between them and undid his belt for her. It wasn't the most romantic of moments, but it didn't last. As soon as the belt was undone his pants opened and were pushed to his ankles. He felt her move what must have been a tiny amount of fabric out of the way before sitting on him, feeling her hot, wet lips wrap around him.

"Fuck" he groaned into her chest, moving the best he could. It wasn't the best position for leverage on his end, but it seemed to be working for Astrid. She tossed her braid over her shoulder and rocked her hips hard onto his, letting out a breathy moan on his cheek. "That good?" He asked, a little too pleased with himself.

"Uh huh" she said breathily, nodding. "You feel amazing" she moaned. She had her eyes closed, her head back and her hands on his shoulders. She seemed really into it.

"Um, bedroom?" He asked shyly.

"Why?" she breathed.

"Hard to move, don't fell like I'm...contributing." She shook her head, rolling her hips a little harder on him.

"It's good" she said, still breathy.

"And I don't want my roommates smelling your pussy on my couch."

"Totally fair," She said standing up quickly. She darted off and disappeared into his bedroom. Hiccup remained seated on the couch for a second, dick still wet from her pussy in mild revelation. Astrid was really awesome, and she totally wanted to have sex with him. Shit, he had to make sure not to screw this up. He picked up his jeans and followed her into his room, closing the door behind him.

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So, Author's note. I know these are kind of a tease as far as smut goes, but I like how they have formed and writing out the sex, at least all of it, just felt like too much. I'll probably write a pure smut of them sooner or later, but for now I kinda like how these work. And if you haven't noticed...I have a lot of sexual tension pent up with these two. Might d oa Ruffstrid drabble and a Ruffcup one at some point. Not sure yet. I would to an Erstrid, but I honestly don't really like them as a couple, not because they don't have chemistry, I just can't see Astrid being that into bulky dudes. But what do I know?


	3. Boys

I can't seem to help myself. Frrnut centric, just for a change of pace. Really REALLY not appropriate. Like, this should not be read by anyone seeking good, wholesome story. Not sure why any of you stick around. But thanks anyway. Let the insanity continue!

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They'd been at it for _hours_.

If Ruffnut wasn't so annoyed, staring at the wall opposite her bed, she would be impressed by Hiccup's stamina.

God her roommate was actually fucking a guy named Hiccup.

Ruffnut had spent the last three hours, no shit! Three hours, listening to Astrid and her new toy fuck like animals while she tried to write a paper. A normal person would just put on their headphones, turn up their music and get on with it. but she sincerely doubted it would have helped with how loud Astrid was moaning and screaming. Seriously, did that girl know _how _to be quite?

What annoyed Ruffnut more than her roommate catching a good pounding, was how into listening she was.

Don't judge.

Hiccup was way, _way_ hotter than she had given him credit for. All that hair, and that chin, and fuck those shoulders. Ruffnut understood why Astrid had been so flustered by him. He was an unapologetic nerd but, fuck her, he was the kind of nerd that Ruff would bang anytime anywhere.

Listening to him fuck was better than the best porno, until Astrid started with her fucking mewling. He just had this great little grunt to him. She'd hear it every now and then from the other side of the wall, somewhere between physical effort and pure pleasure. It was beautiful, she couldn't explain why exactly it just was. As distracting as it was it wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't seem to go on _forever_.

"Come on they gotta be getting sore by now" she muttered to herself, looking up from her book as Astrid let out a loud mewl. She chewed on the end of her pencil, staring balefully at her wall and the light thudding Astrid's headboard was making on the other side of the wall. It must have been really great sex and they had to be on like, round 5 by now.

Another grunt, a little louder and more forceful than before made Ruffnut shutter.

She sucked in a breath and desperately wished it was her he was drilling into the wall. He sounded so hot and she found herself wanting nothing more in life than to hear that sound right in her ear, preferably with his bare backing cock wedged tightly in her drooling cunt!

"Son of a fucking bitch," She whined, unable to help herself anymore.

Chewing on her bottom lip she slipped a hand into her sweats, past her secretly girly panties and over her carefully shaven mound. She let her eyes drift shut, imagining those broad shoulders and lean chest, those wiry arms and all that pale, lightly freckled skin. Fucking hell she was dripping, her panties were soaked.

Why did the word 'panties' sound so hot right now? Maybe because she wanted them on Hiccup's head, or in his teeth...or scrunched around her thigh, or something stupidly sexy like that.

Her callused index finger grazed the silver hoop penetrating the soft flesh of her clit hood and she gasped, electric pleasure shooting up her spine. She sighed in relief, her index and middle finger resting over the little bundle of nerves and pressing gently, rotating in a circular pattern. A soft moan escaped her lips as she rubbed her clit, echoing another muffled grunt from the other side of the wall. She smiled and pressed a little harder on herself.

"Yeah" she sighed softly, biting her bottom lip again, unable to stifle the smile. "Touch me" she cooed to the imaginary Hiccup of her fantasies. "Bet you like a girl with a clit ring huh? Way hotter than what she has," she moaned to herself, lifting her hips involuntarily off the bed, grinning wider than she should have. The little circles she was drawing on herself grew faster, smaller, tighter, causing her vagina to clench. She was getting hotter, wetter. The slick slap of her own wet pussy finding Ruffnut's ears as she touched herself, making her groan.

"Mmm, yeah, right there," she moaned to her imagination, "I bet you eat pussy like a god!"

Her voice was higher pitched this time, needier than she was used too, unfamiliar to her ears. When Ruff fucked a guy she was generally the one doing the fucking, the one in control, but in her fantasies she surrendered herself to Hiccup completely, letting him ravage her body like he owned her and it got her so much more turned on than it should have.

She loved it.

Her hips spent more time off the bed than on it, her fingers pressing themselves to the slick cleft of her pussy as she rubbed herself frantically. The waist band of her sweats and panties were in the way, making her wrist work harder than it needed too. With a frustrated growl she shoved her pants down to her ankles along with her underwear and went back to her fantasy. She let out a loud grunt just as Hiccup let one go on the other side of the wall. She wondered if he just came. Oh God please let him have cum. The thought of his cock spewing ropes of thick, creamy goodness into her set fire to her gut. She was so close, oh Christ she was so close.

And then Astrid screamed, ruining everything.

The high pitched squeal cut through Ruffnut's fantasy like a cunt shot in a porno after watching some stud jack himself off. The absolute worst timing ever.

With a whine Ruffnut sank back down to the bed, all the work she had done on herself utterly lost. "Fucking, son of a," she groaned frustratedly. She picked her shoe up off the floor and hurled it at the wall.

"Astrid shut the fuck up, I'm trying to get off over here," she yelled at the wall. Ruffnut took a little consolation in the yelp that came from the other side of her wall, smirking in conquest. "Yeah, enjoy that afterglow bitch" she muttered to herself.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Astrid cried, making Ruffnut giggle. Astrid might have been the one getting the fucking, but Ruffunt had won the day. At least in her mind.

000000000000

Astrid was glaring at her.

Like, really glaring at her. Like, the kind of glare that burnt holes in walls or reduced a person to ashes. It was kind of annoying really.

"What?" she squawked, pulling her attention away from the tv.

"I can't believe you!" Astrid shouted, her glare unbroken. "You...you were...were..."

"Rubbing my cunt while Hiccup fucked you. Yeah, so what? It was hot! I have you _heard_ that guy grunt?" In Ruffnut's mind this was a perfectly valid defense. It was hot, she was horny, and she wanted to get off. Ipso facto that meant rubbing one out. It helped that Astrid turned a hilarious shade of red, but it was still true.

"I've never...that's so...I can't believe you listened to us? This is worse than when you walked in on us."

Oh yeah, that had been really funny.

"Objection!" cried Ruffnut. "We totally went over that last week. It's not my fault you decided to give Hiccup head in _our _living room," she reminded her roommate. "It's a shared space that I have every right too."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to say what you did! Besides, I hung a sock on the door."

"Right, because you a sock on the door is really going to stop me from coming in. Besides, Hiccup _does_ have a beautiful dick. Like. Holy shit, I would worship that thing in a heartbeat."

"But you don't have to _say _that! Jesus. And would you stop telling me how much you like his dick! I don't want to hear that my best friend wants to fuck my boyfriend!"

"Whatever. Anyway, if you don't want me listening to you two humping, do it quitter. Or at his place or in the back seat of his car. You know, like normal gushy kids."

"What is this, the 50s? And it's called common curtesy, Ruff."

"No, common curtesy would not be fucking loudly right next to my head while I'm doing homework!"

"Well maybe if you didn't do your homework at 10:30 at night... and besides, there is this thing called Modesty!"

"Well maybe if you didn't spend three hours fucking. Besides, life's too short for modesty. Get baked, get drunk, get laid, and have fun."

Ruffnut loved arguing with Astrid, because she always won. And it always got Astrid so pissed off. Of course, Ruffnut knew where to draw the line. She was indecent, not a bitch.

"Look" Ruff said, trying to make peace. "Take it as a complement."

"A complement?" Astrid did not sound amused. "How is you wanking it to my boyfriend and I fucking a complement? Am I supposed to be happy you get off to listening to me fuck?"

"Well, yeah. It means that I'd bang you and your boy toy."

"Hiccup's not my boy toy!" Astrid cried shrilly. "He's my boy_friend_! And no one will be banging him but me thank you."

"Sharing is caring."

"No!"

"Okay! Fine!" Astrid sighed and slumped into the arm chair.

"Why do you enjoy tormenting me?" Astrid asked through a sigh.

"I don't know. I guess I'm jealous," Ruffnut answered totally honest.

"Jealous, why? Of what?"

"Because, your hot, you never have trouble getting guys...or, you know keeping them. And you get the prettiest dick I have ever seen all to yourself whenever you want."

"Can we please stop talking about Hiccup's penis, please?"

"Why? It's awesome."

"I am well aware of that, I had it inside me half an hour ago. I just care more about the man using it than you do."

"Aw now how do you know that?"

"Uh, one, because I know _you_ and two, you haven't said two words to Hiccup."

"Okay fair enough." Ruffnut shrugged and got up.

"Where are you going?"

"To masturbate again and then try and find a hook up." She smirked when Astrid shut her eyes, shaking her head.

"Why did I even ask?"

"I'm kidding, I'm going to finish my paper your fucking intereupted." She wasn't kidding. She had never gotten off and she desperatly needed too. Her hood ring was cold and resting right against her throbbing clit, it was driving her nuts. "Tak to you later."

00000000000

"Come on Tuff, you owe me one!"

"No! I will not set my sister up with one of my brothers."

"Can't or won't?"

"Wont! I just said I won't!"

"Oh...well why not!"

"Because. My baby sister wont be getting...getting..."

"Fucked?" Ruffnut supplied.

"Fucked" he whispered back, "by one of my brothers."

"You're two and a half minutes older than me Tuff," she dead panned. "I'm not your baby anything."

"Irrelevant!" Tuffnut cried from the other end of the line.

"Come on. Sisters before Misters," she tried. Well it usually worked on Astrid.

"What does that even mean?"

"Nothing, shut up! You're apart of Delta Ioda Kappa. The Hottest guys on the whole campus are a part of DIK. Why won't you set me up with one?"

"Because Ruffnut" he said in that aggravating superior tone of his. "_I_ know how these guys think. All they care about is your frilly girly parts and not your fragile girly heart."

Sometimes Ruffnut really wanted to kill him.

"I can handle myself Tuff."

"The answer is still no."

Ruffnut growled viciously at her phone and hung up, throwing it at her pillow.

"Fucker," she swore. \

D.I.K. was having a party that night, very exclusive, invite only and Ruff really needed to get laid. She didn't care if it was a one nighter or not she just needed a good boning. All the hottest guys on campus would be at that party and most of them would be single, or close enough. After a few shots and a look at her ass, they would be single enough for a go at her.

Ruff knew she was a bit of a slut, it didn't bother her. You only got to live once and Ruff wanted to have good sex while she was in her prime. If that made her a cunt, a slut or a bitch then so be it. She could settle down at thirty when everything started to sag.

Now how to get into this party. She could always blow the door man, but if it was who she thought it was, that wouldn't do any good.

Jake was gay.

Whatever, she would cross that bridge when she got to it. She stood up and dug threw her wardrobe. What to wear?

She had a few options. She could go full slut with her plaid skirt and red thong, but that didn't seem appealing tonight. The skirt was kind of ridiculously short, she had had it since middle school and since she had grown up and not out, it still fit her waist but not really her legs. If she went with it even a slight breeze would have her ass hanging out. Not bad when you were slumming it in a club, but Hiccup was a classy guy and if she wanted to get him out of her head she needed at least a little class. There was easy and then there was too easy.

Still.

She pulled out the thong and the matching bra, slipping her boy shorts off and replacing it with the frilly strip of crimson cloth. She'd forgotten how sheer it was...maybe she should re-shave, just to be sure.

She was worrying too much, underwear was selected onto clothes. She needed something that said 'I'm free and totally fuckable, but you need to work for it because I am worth it.' It was a more difficult task than one might think. She settled on a dark green skirt that went to her knees. It was tight and slit half way up her thigh, showed off enough skin to entice but not enough to be whorish...at least overly so. She tossed on a brown top with a jaket that matched her skirt. She braided her hair and went about the agonizing task of picking out shoes.

She went with her only pair, black convers. Because fuck heels.

"Okay" she said looking in the mirror. "Let's go bag a stud."

00000000000

"Okay, just so I know I got this right. Your name is Eret, your dad's name is Eret, and your dad's dad's name is Eret. So you're what, Eret the third?"

The dude was handsome, and British...or Scottish...or some kind of UK-ish. Close enough.

"Well, yeah, I guess, but I like Eret son of Eret has a better ring to it I think" he said, grinning. "Is it really so weird, Ruffnut."

"Well when you put it that way."

Ruffnut was having a hard time looking away from his biceps. They were HUGE. Like, they twitched and moved and _rippled_ when he walked. He also had the sickest tattoos on his chin. He was pretty cute with sleek black hair and massive shoulders. Everything about this guy was massive...which got her hopping that he was proportionate. Fuck this guy might be hotter than Hiccup.

"So, what are you drinkin' Miss Ruffnut" he asked all swave and British and beautiful.

"Oh, I'll grab a beer" she said, wondering how he would play it. "Cool, the keg is in the ice bucket and the bottles are in the cooler. Can I get you a wiener?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry, that's what you American's call sausages right?"

"Oh! Yeah, totally. I could go for a wiener" she said, looking pointedly at his groin. "Or two."

The hotdogs were awesome. Chicago style foot longs grilled on the frat house lawn. These D.I.K. guys really knew how to throw a party. Ruffnut was so glad she had run into Eret on the way and had charmed her way in. Normally, in this sort of situation with a guy this hot, Ruff came on so strong she scared them off. It was only because she so badly wanted into the party that restrained herself from literally drooling over this guy.

"So Miss Ruffnut, what's your major?" Okay, she was really getting used to this whole "miss" thing.

"Undeclared!" she chimed, throwing her hands up. "Majors are so stupid" she said, cramming a third of the foot long into her mouth. Eret was, of course, watching. Enraptured. Silly boy, he had no idea. "I mean, why limit yourself" she said through a mouthful of meat. "We're paying a fucking fortune for a piece of paper that no one really gives a fiddling fuck about what's on it! I mean how stupid is that? I could get an art degree and still end up selling some snotty bitch some bull shit she thinks she needs. I'd much rather be happy learning whatever the fuck I wanted too and then go adventuring around the world, see just how many different kinds of guys I could sleep with, haha!" She was having way too much fun spouting bull shit, and Eret was hanging on every word.

"I totally agree" said Eret almost sagely. In the UK we pretend it's different but it's not. No one really cares what's on the diploma, just that we have one. In a lot of ways the trade schoolers are way better off than I ever will be. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I came to Uni, and the states have been awesome so far, but I'm not learning anything useful in every day. I'd trade my boundless knowledge of human anatomy for a little trapping and hunting skill."

"Why trapping?' Ruffnut asked.

"The men in my family have been hunters and trappers and fishermen for, fuck, forever. I'd much rather know how to catch food and clean an animal then how to identify a subdernal fungus.'

"Because that sounds appealing."

"Exactly. I'm studying medicine because it's sexier than law and still makes money. Bloody hell, I'm going to be that asshole that pays thirty bucks to get his oil changed just because he has no idea how!"

"You don't know how to change oil on a car?"

"No! I don't even know where the bloody spark plugs are!" Ruff laughed, tossing her empty plate aside.

"You're kidding," she chortled. "All those manly muscles and you don't know how to work on a car!" She gripped her sides, falling back onto the grass laughing. Eret was blushing, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well so much for my pride, care for my man card too?"

"Sorry, so sorry" she gasped out between laughs. "It's just so funny. I learned how to fux cars when I was twelve."

"Well then you'l have to teach me some day" Eret said, smirking lightly.

"Totally" Ruffnut said, whipping tears from her eyes. "I like a guy that's not afraid to get _greasy_." Eret lifted an eyebrow, smirking.

"I assure you, Miss Ruffnut, I have no problems getting messy."

"Good. Then you should take me up to your room and prove it."

0000000000000000000

Ruffnut groaned, her upper half hanging off the side of Eret's bed. He was _definitely _proportionate. Her vag was still twitching and she was pretty sure she would be gapping for the rest of the night. There wasn't even a question; that had been the best sex of her life.

"Wow" was about all she could manage.

Her bra was hanging from his ceiling fan, her thong was hooked over the bed post. She had no idea where her skirt ended up.

"Babe you ain't kidding, oh." He groaned. "I think you cracked a rib."

"Welcome" she said highly. "How many condoms did we go through?

"Uh" she felt him shift on the bed. "Six, nope, seven."

"Fuuuuuuck" Ruff laughed, rubbing her face. "And that was _after_ you nearly drowned me."

"Yeah, sorry about that" he said with a chuckle.

"Don't be, loved it. Just not used to guys being so…backed up." She smiled, "It was a good snack. Still, seven condoms…seven loads. God damn dude."

"And the three I put in you when we ran out. You uh...are we in trouble, by the way?"

"Doubt it" Ruffnut said, head a thousand miles away. "And if we are? Totally worth it."

She heard Eret laugh nervously.

"Relax, I'm totally on the pill. It was a joke." Eret's sigh was rather large. "What's the matter studdly, not ready to be a daddy?"

"Nope, definitely not."

"Then you probably shouldn't go pumping a girl's baby maker full of daddy juice."

"Uh..."

"Seriously, relax Eret. You doin anything Saturday?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Uh...no, not really."

"Awesome, I'll drop by and let you wreck me again."

000000000000000

Well hope you had fun, I sure did. Ruffnut is so fun to write, even if it's not totally true to her character. I also want to make it clear, Ruffnut is not a slut. She is promiscuous and she likes to have lots of sex with lots of guys, but that doesn't make her a slut. She just likes to have fun. As it says in the beginning, she is indecent, not a bitch. She doesn't like to hurt people. Quite the opposite. I don't know why I felt like I needed to make that clear, but I did. Anywho, review if you want, please.


	4. Relationships

So, a few of you seemed to really like Ruffnut, don't worry there will be plenty more of her. And a lot of you really want a threesome or a four way. Maybe. We'll see what my sex crazed brain spits out.

Thunk.

"I can't believe you slept with my sister."

Thunk.

"I shagged your sister, didn't sleep with her."

Thunk.

"Same difference."

Thunk.

"Oh no, big difference."

Thunk.

"Dude! How so, you put your dickishness in my sister's vajayjay."

Thunk.

"Yes I did, a lot. But I never slept with her."

Thunk.

"Okay now you've lost me, owe!"

"Well catch the bloody ball you wanker!"

Tuffnut and Eret had been passing a fat version of a football, which Eret insisted was called a Rugby ball, or bull...eh whatever, while Tuffnut accused him of doing the nasty with his sister. Eret was evasive. Now, with a lump forming on the side of Tuffnut's admittedly hard skull, Tuffnut tried to put together what Eret had said.

"How could you have banged my sister and not slept with her? Does that mean you didn't bone her?"

"Oh no, I shagged her, I shagged her bloody randy, but she left before I fell asleep."

"Oh...oh! You bastard! I told you not to sleep with my sister! How could you?"

"I didn't, I just shagged her, then she left. I never slept with her. Besides, Fuck mate, how could I not? She's a bloody animal. I thought she cracked a rib on our last go."

"Last go?! _Last _go? How many times did you do it?"

"Oh...at least a dozen if you count the oral."

Tuffnut howled and charged at Eret, then fell face first in the dirt. Ruffnut was standing next to him, sniggering, her foot out.

"Bitch, how could you?! What was the one thing I told you not to do, woman?"

"Fuck this guy's brains out," she said, pointing with her thumb at Eret. "So glad I don't listen to you. Best fuck ever." Tuffnut balked, covering his ears, claiming he couldn't hear her.

"Ever," she teased.

"I'm, leaving!" He declared, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "I don't need to hear about my sister being defiled."

"Defiled?' Ruffnut asked with a sarcastic laugh. "He didn't put it in my butt once." Tuffnut howled as if the words hurt him and ran off. "That's so much fun" she said, laughing to herself.

"You're one crazy chick" Eret said with a smirk.

"You love it. Didn't hear you complaining while you were inside me."

"Hard to complain getting fucked like that."

"Yeah it is" she brought her hand up for a high five, which Eret awkwardly returned. He flinched when she grabbed his balls before she walked off. He watched her go, eyebrow lifted.

"Forget crazy. She's mad as a hatter" he muttered under his breath.

0000000

Guys were awful!

Three weeks and Heather couldn't get laid to save her life. What was so fucking weird about a girl with pubic hair? That Snotlout moron hadn't seemed to mind while he was fingering her, but bam, once the panties come off it's a modern day freak out! She wondered if it were too late to become a lesbian.

Hiccup hadn't cared. Shit the way he ate her out made it seem like he liked it. She wished he would come by the math lab. See if he wanted to hook up again.

But then that blond chick he always walked around with was probably sleeping with him. If she wasn't she was woefully depriving herself.

Heather sighed, unable to focus on calculus and stared at the wall of her little cubical in the math lab. She looked around, she was alone, no one to bother her. She could...you know. Take care of herself.

A crocked little smile came to her lips, recalling the night Hiccup had nailed her to the bed. Remembering the way his hands felt on her breasts, his lips on her nipples. It made her tingle. There was a guy that knew how to get a girl off. Her fingers lingered on her stiffening nipples before traveling to the button at her pants.

"Heather?"

She jumped so hard she slammed her knees on the bottom of her desk. She yelped and whimpered, clutching her angry knee caps.

"Yes?" she managed to squeak praying that whoever it was hadn't caught her.

"Is this a bad time?" Fuck.

"No, not at all, just" she opened her eyes and looked up. "Oh, Hiccup. What's up?" she asked, probably sounding too hopeful.

"Nothing really, I just…were you?"

She blushed and nodded.

"Uh, I just realized I never did stop by after...you know, so."

"Yeah" as discretely as she could she refastened her pants. "Did you want to...you know?"

"Huh?" He turned an adorable shade of red. "Oh, uh. N-no. I mean, well yeah but. I'm seeing someone so."

"Oh" she said, sounding sadder than she had wanted too. "Then, uh, what brings you in?"

"Actually I was hoping we could talk. I...need some advice."

"Uh, sure but, why me?" This was so strange, they were barley even friends. Jesus what did that say about her morals...whatever, she was an empowered feminist. She could fuck who she wanted...right?

"Well it's just...I...you...you're kinda the only female friend I have here. You know, other than Astrid."

"Oh, is Astrid your girlfriend then?"

"Yes?"

"You don't know?"

"That's kinda why I wanted to talk."

"Uh, sure." Her stomach growled, causing her to blush. "I haven't eaten today, wanna grab lunch?"

"Sure."

Selecting the quietest corner of the campus cafe, heather sat across from Hiccup tearing into her salad. She was starving, it didn't matter that the dressing was fatty and gross, she needed food. Hiccup chewed pensively on a few fries but hadn't touched his burger. Although with the way it was dripping, heather wouldn't have either.

"So" she said through a mouthful of lettuce. "What's the matter?"

"Well. I mean I just don't know if Astrid and I are a thing?"

"Well, why wouldn't you be, you like her right?"

"Yeah, a lot, she's smart and funny and kinda bull headed but so pretty and..."

"Hiccup take a breath."

"Right. Yes, I like her. A lot."

"Does she like you?"

"That's the thing, I don't know. I think so? I mean we...see each other, enough."

"I suppose by 'see either other' you mean screw?"

"Uh...yeah." This wasn't fair, he was so adorable when he blushed.

"Well, I know from experience that your sex isn't the problem. Have you tried asking her?"

Hiccup was quite, staring at this food, nibbling on his fries and apparently avoiding the question.

"Hiccup?"

"No?"

"Well why not you boob! Seriously, what is it with boys and relationships?"

"Well I've never been in one before!" Heather stared at him, dead pan, unbelieving.

"Bullshit."

"No, honest to god, scouts honor. Never had a girlfriend."

"Then where the hell did you learn to...you know what, never mind, not sure I want to know. Okay, step one, you gotta ask. Never going to know if you don't ask."

"Okay."

00000000000000000

"That's the guy you slept with?"

"Uh huh."

"...seriously, _that's_ the guy you slept with?"

"Yup."

"...damn."

"I know right. Fucking coke can, I shit you not. I'm _still _sore."

"Owe."

"I know!"

Astrid and Ruffnut sat on the lawn out in front of the Law building watching Eret toss a ball with one of his friends. Astrid had to admit, he was pretty hot. Little too bulking for her taste, apparently, because those rippling pectorals weren't turning her on like they would have in high school.

"Ruffnut, I never thought I'd say this, but I feel bad for your vagina," Astrid paused and thought about what she had just said. "And now that I say it I'm kinda surprised I never thought I would say that."

Ruffnut laughed.

"Right? Well what, you weren't sharing your man, so I went out and found a better one."

"Well, I wouldn't say better. Bigger, sure, but not necessarily better."

"I don't understand the difference."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Well whatever, I got, like, fifteen shots out of him."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, I think he came...okay twelve times."

"Yup, went through seven condoms, plus the three bare back then the two in my mouth..."

"Okay, I Don't need the details, shit Ruff."

"I know right? I think I'm in love...oh you meant-"

"Yeah."

"Sorry. But damn I'm excited. You know me."

"Yes, I know you. And it's a moot point. So you got him off twelves times, what matters is how many times you-"

"Seventy two."

"What?!" Astrid stared wide eyed at her friend.

"Mhmm, seventy two times in four hours, after five I started counting. He found this spot in me that set me off every time he hit it."

"...Shit."

As much as it pained her, she couldn't compare with that. Hiccup was good, more than good, but he wasn't _that_ good.

"I'm actually kind of jealous," Astrid admitted. How could she not be? It wasn't anything against Hiccup but, Jesus. Seventy two times?"

"Thank you, that's what I was looking for." Astrid scoffed and rolled her eyes. Ruffnut shrugged.

"Best sex of my life, probably. How are things with you and Hiccup? He treating your lady bits well?"

"Not that it is any of your business, but yes, he is treating _all_ of me, including my 'lady bits,' very well."

"Well that's all we can ask for."

"So, are you and Eret a thing now?"

"Nope." She sounded so final about it.

"Really, best sex of your life and you're not going to try and lock that down?"

"Nope," Ruffnut said, shaking her head.

"Why?"

"You know me, I don't go in for that shit. I don't know who I'll meet tonight, tomorrow, in a week? What happens if I want to fuck em?"

"I guess I see your point. But isn't Eret worth hanging on to?"

"Nah, he's a great fuck, like, a really great fuck...I guess I could do a physical relationship with him but I'm not interested in anything else. Too your to tie down."

"Too wild."

"You say somethin Hofferson?"

"Nope. So why don't you tell him, I'm sure he'd like another crack at your ass."

"I guess your right. And I did like suckin on his coke can." Astrid coughed and tried to play it off as nothing.

"Well then go get him."

0000000

Was it weird that he liked having her over right after a work out? When she was still sweaty and vaguely musky and didn't smell all girly? If it was Hiccup didn't want to be normal. He liked the perfumes she wore, the shampoo she used in her hair and the body wash she used, but his favorite sent on her was sweat. Call him a freak, he didn't care.

She sat on his couch in just her sports bra, her thighs parted, vulva lightly stubbly after a day of not shaving, and it drove Hiccup bonkers. Feeling the hot flesh of her thighs pressed against his ears as the salty, bitter taste of her labia and vagina coated his tongue.

Most guys would back, demand that she take a shower before going down on her but not Hiccup. He wanted her to come over before she went home, before she showered. To him, that was when she tasted the best. Maybe it weirded her out, but somehow he didn't think so. She was a little too eager to say she'd come over, too quick to peel her running pants off in his living room and too wet when he licked her to make him think it bothered her.

Her moan cut through his worries. She loved this. Her fingers found his scalp, massaging his flesh while her thighs prevented him from running away. She squeaked, his nose brushing her clit. He could feel the muscles in her thighs tighten, the grip on his hair growing rough.

"Hiccup" she whined. Although he couldn't see it, he guessed her mouth was open, her eyes were closed, like she always was when he ate her out. She let out a final, strangled moan and then went slack, panting. The grip of her thighs on his head relaxed and he pulled away. She was reclined in the couch, beautiful chest heaving wit ha fresh mist of sweat on her skin. She glistened in the light of the apartment.

"You need...yo do that...before and after every game" she panted, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "I need a shower" she giggled.

She stood on shaky legs, walking her bottomless self towards his bathroom. She stopped at the head of the hall, looking over her shoulder.

"Coming?"

After a long shower Hiccup found himself in bed with Astrid, laying naked against her and wondering what this really was. Astrid seemed to know, but Hiccup was totally lost.

"Astrid?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we...together?"

"I think this fits the description."

"No I mean, like, a couple?" She was quite, the back of her golden head betraying nothing to the boy behind her. "Are we dating? Friends with Benefits? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Hiccup?"

"Yes?"

"You're the smartest idiot I have ever met."

"That does that mean?" She rolled over, looking him pointedly in the eye.

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" Hiccup paused, not sure what was going on. She didn't sound mad, exactly. "Do you think I would be lying here naked, in bed with you, if I didn't like you?" She tilted her head. "Do you think I would come to your apartment, sweaty and disgusting so you could eat me out, then fuck you in the shower if I didn't think we were together?"

"I...uh."

"Well?"

"No."

"Good, your not as big an idiot as I thought."

"I'm sorry I-"

"And that's another thing, stop apologizing all the time!"

"Sorry! I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't know what I'm doing!"

Astrid stared at him, dead pan, as if that had totally caught her off guard.

"Whoa whoa. You're telling me, that you learned how to finger a girl, eat pussy, and fuck a girl's brains out, without ever having had a girlfriend?"

"Uh...yes?" She blinked.

"Shit," she sighed, standing up, pulling on her underwear.

"Whoa, what?"

"Please, please tell me you weren't a virgin before we fucked."

"What does, no, why does it matter?"

"It, it shouldn't, doesn't. Fuck I don't know." She sat back down on the bed, suddenly looking tired.

Hiccup didn't know what to do. He didn't want this to end, but it seemed like Astrid didn't want this to continue. He wanted to reasure and comfort her but was afraid to touch her. He didn't even know what to say, every time he tried he hit some kind of wall that he just couldn't get through it.

"I'm sorry" Astrid said softly. "It's hard being with someone who's in their first relationship. They do...a lot of stupid, hurtful things because they don't know any better. Say stupid stuff that shouldn't be said or said in the right way. I just" she sighed, "I don't want to go through that again."

Hiccup was quite for a while.

"I understand," he said sadly. He heard her sob softly.

"Fuck Hiccup" she said, "See what you made me do?"

"I'm sorry" he whimpered sadly.

"Shut up!" She punched him in the shoulder. "I told you to stop apologizing. Now come here and fuck me before I come to my senses."

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So, I'm going to be straight. I am not as proud of this one as I was the last. It kinda just fell together and I don't really think it works as a whole but, whatever. Enjoy.


	5. Twerking

**So, yeah, Twerking is a thing, enjoy**

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"I only have one question."

"Shoot."

"What the FUCKis 'twerking' and why do I get the feeling I'm going to hate it?"

"Really...you don't know what twerking is."

"No fucking clue."

"Dude, do you _live _on earth. What the fuck?"

"What?!"

"Miley Cyrus, twerking? Being a general slut with dance?"

Astrid was lost, she didn't pay attention to pop news, and she certainly didn't know what twerking was. She just stared blankly at Ruffnut, who was beside herself with frustration.

"Oh my god, here!" She spun her laptop around and brought up a twerking video. Astrid watched for a few minutes and lifted an eyebrow.

"That's it? You shake your ass in a thong really hard?"

"That's it."

"So, why did I need to see that?"

"Because, Jess called out the team. Her five best against ours."

"Jess is the _dance captain_, even if I cared, how are we supposed to stand up to that?"

"_Because_, it's not about being a good dancer, it's about being good at showing off your ass." Astrid groaned and shook her head.

"Why do I care?"

"Uh, because the honor and general game of the team is at stake?"

"Game? You mean, like, our ability to get guys?"

"Yes! Jess says Lacrosse players are musclebound trolls that couldn't get a nerd pity fuck if they walked up to em bare ass naked and sat on their face...her words not mine"

Astrid was quite for a second, a carefully maintained mask of indifference. Underneath, she was seething. No one, _no _one, mocked her, her team or her sport. Least of all in their ability to get laid.

"Okay. I'm in. What are the terms?"

"Her best five against our best five."

"And if we win?"

"They have to clean our locker room."

"That's it?"

"With their toothbrushes."

"Nice touch, what if we lose?" Ruff frowned.

"You're not going to like it."

"Somehow I didn't think I would."

"Jess's Sorority is hosting a party for Delta Ioda Kappa. If we lose we have to work the party as wait staff."

"That's not so bad..."

"Naked."

Astrid glared daggers at Ruffnut.

"You wanna run that by me again," she demanded angrily.

"If we lose we have to work Jessica's party with tits out and pussy bared."

Astrid rubbed her temples.

"So let me get this straight. If we win, Jess has to scrub our locker room with a toothbrush. But if we lose, we have to debase ourselves in front of, not only Jessica's sorority, but all of the D.I.K.s too."

"That's about the size of it."

"And why, oh why, would you ever agree to those terms?!"

"Dude, have you seen my locker, I'm not cleaning it." Astrid gave a monstrous groan.

"Fine, I'm committed. We have two, who else did you have in mind?"

"Tiffany, Brittney and Leah."

Astrid opened her mouth, ready to argue, but after thinking the names through, closed her mouth and nodded.

"Yeah, I think that'll work."

Tiffany was short and petite but with all the athleticism of everyone else. Astrid couldn't argue with the logic of using a short hot girl with a firm ass. Brittney was average height but was curvier, way curvier. According to her, her ass was her best feature. Again Astrid found no flaw in her friend's logic. And Leah spent most of her time riding horses, pretty much a win win.

"Okay, but there's one small problem."

"Do tell."

"I have no idea how to twerk."

"That's why we are going to practice. Oh, and I recommend knee pads."

"Of course you do" Astrid said with a sigh. "Because from what it looks like I am going to end up dry humping air in front of dozens of people I don't know and then work a party naked."

"Relax Hofferson, we got this."

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"We so don't have this."

"Okay, just so I heard you right. _You_ are going to twerk."

"Yes, Hiccup, I am going to twerk. And if you stop _saying _that I might even let you watch."

She winced and shifted in her seat.

"You okay?"

"My thighs and ass are killing me, do you know how are twerking is?"

Hiccup shivered, his hand falling on her thigh. Psych was getting harder to pay attention too since he and Astrid started dating. She lifted an eyebrow, looking at him.

"You've never done this in class before" she said softly, forgetting the sore muscles in her thighs. His hand was warm on the bare skin of her thigh and she had to restrain herself from grinning at his touch. Hiccup gulped and took his hand away, going red. "Never said stop," she said, putting his hand back on her thigh. She smirked, placing it a little higher and on her inner thigh.

"You know what I could really use?" She asked, keeping her voice down. "Someone to look at my routine and give it an objective look, think you can manage?" Hiccup shifted in his seat and turned the most adorable shade of red.

"Not sure I could be too objective," he said honestly.

"Good, I could use the confidence boost too," she said with a smirk. "And a massage."

Hiccup was turning into a tomato.

"You know, the naked kind?" she said softly in his ear. She felt him shiver and tool that as a yes.

"Sure" Hiccup said, that wonderful mix of excitement and nerves coming over his face.

"You're cute you know that?" she asked, putting her head on his shoulder, lacing her fingers in his. "Stop by after practice."

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Hiccup could have died that second and been a happy man. At the rate his heart was pounding he just might. Was it possible to die from over arousal? Watching Astrid twirk in her white team jersey, clean field shoes, high white socks and powder blue thong was hazardous to his health. She had her jersey tied high on her torso, her pierced naval in full view as her hips swayed and moved.

Astrid put a lot more actual dance into her twerking, though when shse got her butt going it was nothing short of heavenly. She spent a lot of time on her knees, which he guessed was the point, fucking an invisible body on the ground. He was going to have to insist she try that in bed, he was about to blow a load in his pants just watching.

The routine was about three minutes long and when she was done she was winded, a light misting of sweat on her brow and bare arms.

"Well?" She asked, hopeful after a few seconds of silence.

"I'm so hard it hurts."

Astrid blushed and looked at her toes.

"It was good then?"

He nodded, laughing awkwardly.

"I'm afraid if I move I'm going to cream my boxers," he admitted.

"So, very good then."

She stalked closer to his seat on her bed, hips swaying beautifully. Before he really understood what happened his jeans were around his ankles with his boxers and Astrid was straddling his lap, her thong wrapped around her left leg.

"Would be such a waist if you went off before I had you" she said, slipping onto him with ease. His gasp was caused more by surprise than pleasure. Astrid was soaping wet. He groaned as her walls squeezed him, sitting on his lap with him resting deep inside her.

"Fuck Astrid" he groaned. She laughed rocking her hips.

"Condom...I need a..."

"Relax, I'm safe this week" she cooed in his ear, rolling her hips against his.

"Wh...why now" he gurgled.

"Because...twerking" she growled the word, thrusting down on him. "For you was way hotter than I thought it would be." She sucked his earlobe into her mouth and nipped it with her teeth. Hiccup hissed and _finally_ thrust up into her. She moaned in his ear, flexing the muscles in her vagina to squeeze him tighter.

"Guh, not gunna last" he warned in a throaty moan.

"I know" she said grinning, pushing him back onto her bed. She planted her hands on either side of his head and started to twerk. Fuck it was better than he ever imagined. All twerking really was was fucking the air, and Christ it felt good to be twerked on. Hiccup lost his mind, exploding harder than he had in recent memory, firing off three thick ropes into her, his eyes rolling up into his head for a second before the ecstasy subsided.

"Holy shit" he said with a sigh, looking up into Astrid's triumphantly grinning face.

"I'd call that a winning routine." Hiccup could only nod in agreement.

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"Oh my god, you thought you would have to work the party _naked_? Jess couldn't keep the giggles under control. "Who the hell told you _that_?" Astrid glared at Ruffnut, who was looking confused. "The terms of the bet were, if you lose, you have to work my Sorority's pool party. _We_ were going to be topless. I don't care if your girls are too, and D.I.K. is _not _invited. It's boyfriends only. Sheesh what kind of sisterhood do you think we are?"

Astrid could have honestly killed Ruffnut. She had been freaking out about this all week. She took a breath and turned her scalding glare from Ruffnut.

"Thank you for clearing that up. I suppose the reports of you calling us 'musclebound trolls' is exaggerated as well?"

"Oh no, lacrosse players are disgusting meat headed idiots with no prospects of _good _boyfriends, but that's not your fault."

"What do you mean 'good' boyfriends?"

"Well look at you, dating that Hiccup guy. Not exactly a 10 on the sexy scale."

"Now hold on, Hiccup may not be a jock or a model but he is a _great _boyfriend. It was one thing to insult me and my team, it's another to talk shit about my boyfriend."

"So you're in then?"

"Bet your fat ass on it."

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The twerk off was kind of embarrassing. Held in the dance studio to ensure privacy as well as somewhat neutral ground, the participating girls hadn't bothered with a change of clothes. The dance team had been confident, sure that they were going to crush the poor, uncoordinated lacrosse players, claiming that they're softer bodies would win over the judges, a group of boys with no personal ties to any of the girls.

It turns out, though, being good at dance _did not _make you good at twerking. Astrid and her crew didn't just beat Jess, they crushed her.

"See Jess" Astrid crowed, turning around and twerking at the dance captain as the onlookers cheered. "This is the difference between having an ass and using it." She smirked triumphantly over she shoulder, high on victory as Jess and her crew slunk off to their sorority house. Defeated.

Ruffnut took no small amount of pleasure in seeing the Dance Captain slink away. So what if she had over stressed Astrid, it was worth it to see that upity bitch slink off in defeat.

"Cow" she muttered to herself, watching the fat bubble butt of the dance captain disappear out of the studio doors. She spotted Eret in the crowed and smiled, walking up to him. "So, what'd you think?"

"I have no idea what I just saw, but I liked it" he responded. "Come on" she said, taking his hand, "I'll let you eat me out in the bathroom." She smirked and started to walk off. She saw Hiccup walking over to Astrid, still in her victory buzz, and stopped. This would be fun to watch.

"That was amaz-uff" Hiccup said, coming up to congratulate his girlfriend when Astrid reached out, grabbed him by his caller and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. She wrapped a leg around his hip, encouraging him to grab her still thonged ass as she shoved her tongue down his throat, fingers tangling in his hair.

"Okay Astrid, we get it," Ruffnut teased, "He's yours." A wolf whistle split threw the hum of the room from somewhere behind Ruffnut. When Astrid broke the kiss she had a mad grin on her face, and for a moment Ruffnut was a little worried for poor Hiccup, he was in for a rough night. Ruffnut had heard her roommate fuck after a hard win.

"No one calls you a bad boyfriend" Ruffnut overheard her say privately to Hiccup, kissing him roughly again.

"Come on" she said to Eret, giving his hand a tug. "I think we'll stay at your place tonight. Don't think there will be much sleeping at mine."

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A/N This was not as fun to write as I was hoping it would be, oh well, hope you like it.


	6. Kinks

**I apologize for nothing. **

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"Astrid, are you really sure about this?"

It wasn't that tying his girlfriend to the bed naked wasn't sexy, because it really, _really _was. Or that the notion of using his own neck ties wasn't arousing. It was just that he couldn't believe that she was into this. She had such a commanding, dominating personality that it kind of blew his mind to think she would be into submission at all, let alone BDSM and bondage.

"Yeah," she assured him, more excited than he had ever seen her. "Little tighter, actually."

Hiccup was finding it hard not to blush, it might have had something to do with the way she was staring at his erection. The way a starving man might look at a choice cut of steak.

"So," he said shyly. "What uh, how should I, uh, start?"

"Anyway you want," she purred at him demurely. "Master."

"Oh don't say that" he said with a shudder.

"Why not, don't like it?"

"I don't know, it just sounds so...weird. Like bad Twilight Fanfiction or something."

"I told you, I was only reading 50 Shades of Gray to see if that was really bad."

"Uh huh. So how do I begin? Without you saying something creepy."

"Well, maybe you should come over here and shove something in my mouth."

Hiccup had to stop, close his eyes and take a breath. He let it out slowly, his face falling into a hard mask. He approached, trying to forget that this was Astrid, his girlfriend. She was just a faceless girl tonight, submissive, demure.

His.

He bit back words and simply shoved his throbbing erection into her mouth. He groaned, cupping the back of her golden head. How did it feel better when he was in control? He pushed his hips forward, feeling her tight lips slide over his shaft in a way he had never really experienced before. It was different than when she gave him head, he couldn't put his finger on why exactly but it was. He continued to fuck her face for a while, constantly keeping himself in check to not overdo it on her throat. It was not easy, but the sounds she made around him pushed him deeper than he would normally go.

Astrid wasn't complaining.

In fact, she was wetter than he had ever seen her, at least prior to touching her. Her freshly shaven lips glistened in the low light of his room, tempting him to run his finger through her labia. As his finger ghosted over her flesh her hips jerked up off the bed, her arms ad legs straining against the bonds. She was drenched. Her reaction surprised him, causing him to draw back, smiling. She whined, loudly.

"Please, please don't stop. Please don't stop touching me" she begged.

"I don't know," he replied, smirking playfully. "Seems awful selfish of you, to demand so much of me."

"Do anything, anything you want to me. I just need you to touch me. Please, baby, please touch me. I need you so bad."

It was shocking and jarring to see such a shift in Astrid when it came to bondage. She turned from a strong, powerful woman into a begging, pleading slave. At first Hiccup wasn't sure he was okay with it, but something about her eyes told him she was happy. That she wanted this more than he could understand. So he played a long.

"Hmmm, alright then," he said with grin, placing a single, slender finger on her clit. She squealed when he started to move it. Her hips jerked this way and that, making it difficult to keep his finger on her.

"Sit still," he commanded harshly. She shuttered at his words and did as he ordered. She was getting off on this on a level he hadn't expected.

"Well make a master out of you yet" she cooed, falling silent.

Hiccup spent the next hour just touching her, enjoying how pliant she was under his fingers. She did everything he was ordered too, but would stubbornly refuse all his requests. After fifteen minutes, Hiccup stopped asking. He had to admit, he enjoyed telling her what to do. There was a certain satisfaction in seeing her submit to him. Iy was knew, it was exciting. He was going to enjoy this.

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Astrid lost count of how many times she had cum, just to his fingers. This was such a good idea. She had never had the chance to indulge her submissive bondage kink before. Frankly, she had never trusted anyone enough to let them know about it. She was so glad she was doing it with Hiccup. He slipped into the role of master so easily he himself didn't even realize it had happened until he was giving her orders. He was a natural and that made her knees weak. After this she sincerely believed that he could order her to do anything sexual anywhere and she would do it. It was that exciting.

"Enough fun and games," he said, a breath on her neck where he had been kissing while his fingers probed her. She shuttered violently and strained at her bonds, her body tensing with anticipation.

When he entered her she screamed, pleasure exploding behind her eyes. Her toes curled, fingers digging into her palms, pussy spasm in orgasm. She wasn't entirely sure anymore that it was just the bondage driving her wild. Hiccup was a natural at this sort of thing. Now that he was inside her he was rough in the best possible way. Possessive with each thrust, clamming her with every stroke of his magnificent cock into her waiting and welcoming cunt.

She wanted to tell him to go faster, but what fell out of her mouth was a string of unintelligible gurgles, moans and squeals. Eventually she stopped trying and surrendered herself to him, lying back and letting him do as he pleased while she enjoyed every blissful moment. There was nothing to do but let him have her, he had earned it.

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The morning found Astrid curled up next to Hiccup, clinging to him as he slept. She smiled, watching the sun shine through his hair, turning it red. She smiled and kissed his forehead, lightly cupping his junk. She giggled, he was hard as a brick. Kissing his cheek she lightly stroked him, just to turn hopefully sweet dreams into pleasurable ones.

Was it the first time she had woken him up like this? No, but what did it matter. She liked making him feel good, liked that it was her making him feel good and not someone else, not anyone else. And if that made here a bad feminist then fuck feminism.

He moaned softly in his sleep, making her smile. She squeezed a little harder, whispering sweet little ego stroking nothings in his ear. She took pride in watching his chest rise and fall faster, his face flush as he stirred. She had spent night dreaming of chains and dungeons and his cock all over her. She could give him a few minutes of blissful dreams before he woke up. For a brief moment she thought about blowing him, but she really wanted to see his face when he came.

She grinned as he got closer and when she thought he was about to blow she deftly pointed his dick at herself. He didn't last much longer, spilling his thin, sticky goo onto the soft flesh of her hip. She shivered, feeling the hot fluid go cold on her. They were going to have to more of that, lots more of that. But maybe not after she had spent the better part of the night draining him of his spunk.

His waking coincided with his ejaculation, and when she found his eyes they were smiling.

"You know I could really get used to that?"

"What? Cumming?" she teased.

"No, waking up with your hands on me." She blushed and licked her fingers clean.

"No arguments here" she teased, spooning a large glob off herself. "I should go shower" she said softly. "You really did a number on me last night."

"Sorry."

"For what?" she asked softly. "Best sex ever."

"You keep saying stuff like that. Can't be true," he said, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Ever" she whispered into his ear before slipping from his bed. She didn't bother with bathrobe or towel, just paraded into his bathroom naked, tempting him to follow. It was not a hard invitation to accept.

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"Thank you for last night" Astrid said smiling, leaning on his arm in their favorite coffee shop.

"You said that already" he said, smirking.

"Seriously, I've always wanted to try it."

"Didn't seem like a first time thing from where I was sitting."

"I've thought about it a lot, read about it, fantasized. I knew what I wanted, I just didn't think it could be so good."

"Well you're welcome."

"I wanted to know if you had anything like that. Something you wanted to try." He blushed and she knew the answer was yes.

"What is it?" she asked, too excited, too interested.

"It's stupid, totally a typical guy kink, not at all adventurous."

"What?" she asked smirking. "Like being tied to a bed while getting fucked out of your mind isn't totally a girl kink cliché?"

"Well if you-wait what? It is?"

"Yeah" she said with a smile. "That and rape fetishes."

"Seriously?" Hiccup looked shocked, maybe a little appalled.

"Seriously." Silence reigned, Astrid innocently sipping at her coffee while Hiccup watched. She'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the look on his face. The question was written on it so plainly it was funny. "I don't, but most women do." The sigh of relief was hysterical, causing a fit of giggles from Astrid.

"Really had you there huh?"

"Yeah," he admitted shyly.

"Seriously though. What is your fantasy? I want to know." Hiccup sighed.

"A threesome with two girls," he admitted softly.

"What's so bad about that" Astrid said with a shrug. "Me too." She smirked when he spat his coffee back into his cup. "What, didn't I tell you I was bi?"

"No" he coughed, wiping his mouth off.

"Huh...could have sworn. Oh well, now you know. Got anyone in mind?"

"Kinda."

"Please don't say Ruffnut."

"Oh god no." Astrid laughed. She wanted to be mad for her friend, but she could see where he was coming from. Ruffnut was crazy, more so in bed.

"Yeah...she's a little nuts when it comes to sex."

"Part of me wants to know how you know that" he said flatly, "The other part is happy in ignorance."

"So, who did you have in mind?"

"This girl I knew before I met you. Her name is Heather, little...out there, I guess but nice."

"You've slept with her before I take it?" Hiccup turned red. "It's okay, just curious. Did she strike you as open to that kind of thing?"

"I don't know, apparently my gaydar is all kinds of off so." She snickered.

"Not so off, I'm not that bi. Anyway, run it by her, I wont say no. It's only fair after all."

"You're really okay with this..."

"Yeah, should I not be?"

"I don't know, I mean, isn't this supposed to be like, typical guy wants more than one girl, thing?"

"No Hiccup." She smiled, brilliant and beautiful. "Group sex is a legitimate kink, how can I judge you for yours and not expect you to judge me for mine?"

"That is remarkably adult of you" he admitted. "I'm not sure I could do a kink I was uncomfortable with."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like, a threesome with two guys. I'm sure you'd love it but...I," he was all blushy and adorable again.

"Hiccup, part of being in a relationship is pushing comfort zones. But what no one talks about is accepting that there are certain things that shouldn't be pushed. I would never force you to try something you weren't okay with."

"Really?"

"Would you do that to me?"

"Of course not!"

"Well there's your answer." She was smiling again. She had this whole relationship thing figured out, and he was fumbling around in the dark.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am" she said, her grin sliding into a smirk. "Besides, who says I would enjoy two guys? Maybe I would rather have another girl more."

She was still smirking, teasing and flirting with him at the same time. He really liked ti when she did that. Maybe he had a bit of a submissive side to him too.

"Okay, I'll run it by her and see what happens."

"Cool, in the meantime" her smirk became something more scintillating, more lustful. "I want to have kinky sex in the bathroom." Hiccup chuckled, sipping his coffee. Astrid smirked and stood up, heading for the unisex bathroom in the back. As she walked away, hips away, she pulled a condom from her back pocket and palmed it, making sure he saw it. Hiccup went bright red and stood up so fast he bumped the table. He was really starting to fall for this girl, and her freaking kinky ass mind.

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**As I said, I regret nor apologize for anything. I have a perfectly logical reason for making Astrid a sub but I feel it would infringe upon my playful nature to spend time lecturing on it. Also, nothing in this was supposed to be offensive in anyway. Thank you. **


	7. Weed

Hiccup groaned softly as a golden head bobbed in his lap, his fingers curled in her hair. The haze of their intoxicating pass time drifted around them in a soft white fog, easing their worries and calming their nerves. Hiccup hadn't wanted to do it at first, weed had never been something he was interested in, but Astrid had been curious and wanted to experiment. She had heard it made sex more exciting and wanted to test it. Ruffnut had offered to supply the bud, but advised that she be there in case one of them have a bad reaction.

"You won't freak out or anything" she had explained, "But it can make you sick if you get bad stuff or are allergic, so it's always smart to be careful and have someone around that can keep their shit together when they smoke." It had seemed sound advice, and Ruffnut had been, for once, completely serious about it. However, Astrid should have been more suspicious of her roommate's ulterior motives. Yet here they were, a girl that was not Astrid sucking on her boyfriend's cock while she watch, enraptured.

"This. Is. So. Hot" she said blearily, more excited than she should have been. She was sitting not fifteen feet away in just a pair of cotton panties, watching intently as Ruffnut demonstrated her considerable oral skills on her boyfriend. Hiccup seemed to be enjoying himself, and that made Astrid giggle. Ruffnut lifted her head from Hiccup's lap and looked back, over her shoulder, at her roommate.

"Okay, now I know why you like giving him head," she said with a wolfish grin. Ruffnut had gotten naked almost right away, something Hiccup wasn't exactly complaining about. He hadn't started it, he had been completely against it at first, but Astrid had egged him on, insistently.

"No you should _totally_let her do it," she had said, overly excited. "Ruff is fuckin awesome at blowing cock, and I totally want to watch!"

It was something Hiccup hadn't expected out of her, but then again this was the same girl that had demanded he tie her down, blind fold her and fuck her until her bed broke. He supposed he should have seen it coming.

Hiccup had never seen a girl with priced nipples before, let alone genitalia, in real life and he had to admit, he kind of liked it. He wondered what it would feel like to have the hard steel in his mouth alongside the stiff rosy flesh of her nipple. Granted, it probably felt a lot like the hard steel ball drifting up and down the shaft of his cock.

"So, Astrid?" he said with a soft giggle. "Have you ever considered getting a tongue ring?" Ruffnut grinned up at him, waggling her tongue at him erotically. "Right?"

When he felt his cock slide into Ruffnut's throat his fingers fisted in her hair, his eyes rolling back into his skull. He must have done something right because she started moaning. It might have been the weed, or maybe Ruffnut was actually that good, but Hiccup found himself losing control faster than he wanted to. She didn't complain, but did take her time swallowing.

"Fuck he tastes good" she moaned, lifting her head a little breathless.

"Right?" Astrid said, giggling to herself. "Like, better than spooge should. Whao..." She went quiet for a few seconds, as if some great truth had just been revealed to her. "I totally just watched my boyfriend get a blow job...and I'm not pissed off, like, at all!"

"Yeah" Hiccup agreed. "And I'm, like, totally not guilty about it. At all. What's with that?"

"Maybe it's because, you're like, right there and because your apart of it, it's not like he's cheating on you" Ruffnut offered sagely, sitting back on her bare ass to think deeply on the subject. "It's all, like, mutual and natural and inclusive. You're not letting him cheat or anything you're just, like, sharing him."

"That's totally it!" Astrid agreed. "It's because I'm here and I get to enjoy it and totally want to see him fuck you." It all seemed so obvious, so clear, like they had all tapped into a universal truth about sex and pleasure and relationships."

"Exactly, hey, you mind if he eats me out?"

"God no" Astrid said, shaking her head. "So long as I get to watch." her panties came off, disappearing somewhere behind her.

"Well I'm not going anywhere," Ruffnut said, falling more than rolling onto her back, legs spread wide. "Fuck, if all I had to do to get licked by Hiccup was get you high, I'd of done it ages ago." Astrid was a fit of giggles as Hiccup crawled awkwardly onto his hands. His shirt was still on and his pants were around his ankles, tying him up in what must have been hysterical because Astrid was having trouble breathing for all the laughing she was doing. Frustrated, Hiccup kicked off his pants all together and threw off his shirt, coming to rest a tad shakily between Ruffnut's legs. He heard Astrid snort before Ruffnut's legs clamped around his ears. It felt like she was trying to crush the life out of him, but it was somehow worth it.

His tongue work was clumsy at first and it must have showed, because Astrid was at his side, whispering in his ear. Eventually, she nudged him out of the way and took his spot. She licked her friend a few times, sucked on her clit, and then returned Hiccup to her sex. He was better this time, more focused, and soon had Ruffnut's toes curling in delight. She actually squealed when her clit ring slipped into his lips. When he looked up her body to gage her face, Hiccup found his girlfriend locked in a heated kiss with her. He also noticed that Ruffnut's hand disappeared into Astrid's thighs and could vaguely see her wrist moving. She must have been fingering her…that was really hot. He groaned around Ruffnut's clit, which made her moan.

Hiccup returned his attention to his work, licking and sucking and spearing his tongue into Ruffnut as best he could. He wasn't sure how long he was focusing on her, but when he looked up again he was greeted with Astrid's immaculate ass obstructing his view. She was straddling Ruffnut's face, grinding her cunt against her roommate's lips. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

Astrid pinched her right nipple and let out a moan, rolling her hips on Ruffnut's face as that clever little tongue of hers ravaged her in a familiar but forgotten way. Suddenly, Ruffnut squealed and bucked up into Astrid, making her moan as Ruffnut's nose pressed into her clit. She looked over her shoulder, trying to figure out what had happened to see Hiccup lifting his face, covered in wet goo. She laughed, which dissolved into a moan. Hiccup must have made Ruffnut cum pretty hard for that reaction. She felt more than saw her boyfriend stand up and clean his face with his shirt.

"Come here" she moaned, pulling him in for a kiss. She wondered why she hadn't just done this earlier? What was so bad about fucking Hiccup with her best friend? Had that first threesome with Ruff been so bad? She couldn't remember, she didn't think it had been. But there was one thing she knew for certain. This was awesome, and would have to be repeated. Many, many times if she had anything to say about it.

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Hiccup was the first to wake, a little confused why there were two warm bodies next to him instead of just the one. He blushed as his memory of the night returned. He was also surprised to find how clear headed and well rested he felt. No painful head ache or gross, disgusting greasy feeling. Well, at least not from the weed. He felt a body stir next to him and turned to see Ruffnut waking up. He gulped, not sure what to do.

"Oh, hey" she said in a husky purr, looking at him through heavily lidded eyelashes. She leaned over and gave him an almost uncomfortably deep kiss, though after the night before there wasn't much that could be called uncomfortable. "You fuck like a god" she said, suddenly over him. "What'do ya say? Wanna go again before Astrid wakes up?" Hiccup turned so red it hurt, because the truth was he kinda did.

"I don't...I don't know." Ruffnut smiled, a weird sort of half smile that was part disappointed part expectant.

"I didn't think so" she said sitting up on her knees. "But hey, if you ever want this?" She leaned back, spreading her labia with a wink. "It's yours" she licked her lips and stood up, scrounging her clothes off his floor the headed for the bathroom. He heard the shower come on a few seconds later. Astrid woke shortly after. She glanced around then groaned, her head returning to her pillow with a thud.

"We totally had a threesome with Ruffnut, huh?"

"Yup" Hiccup confirmed.

"Was it good? You know, for you?"

"Yeah" he admitted again, blushing only a little this time. Astrid turned her head to look at him, sighing.

"Good...cause I kinda want it to happen again." She sounded almost begrudging, like she hated that she loved it. Hiccup just shrugged.

"I'm down." He smirked, his large, long fingered hand finding the right cheek of her ass. "Maybe I could tie you down next time." He felt her shiver and chuckled. "And maybe next time well do it sober."

"Sounds like a plan."

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"Hey, what house are you in?"

Hiccup frowned and looked up from his laptop.

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head at Astrid, who was lying in bed next to him on her own laptop. "I'm in your house."

"No, Harry Potter. What house are you in." This did not solve his confusion.

"Uhhh, I don't know?"

"Pottermore. What house?"

"What the hell is Pottermore?" Astrid looked at him like he had just sprouted a second head.

"This is happening," she said, turning her attention back to her laptop, typing away furiously.

"What is happening?" Hiccup repositioned himself to get a better look at her screen. She was on a website. In the span of about ten seconds she had filled in his name, birthdate, email address and had even written him a password.

"Hey, don't do that," he protested, reaching for her computer.

"Relax, I used your normal password," she said, effortlessly dodging his grabbing hands.

"No! Don't sign me up for a - hey how do you know my usual password?" She paused only long enough to look at him, a disappointed expression her face.

"Please." Was all she said before going back to work? Hiccup groaned and sank back to the pillows, she was right, this was happening.

"Okay, answer these questions as truthfully and seriously as you possibly can."

"And if I refuse?"

"No sex for a month."

"Oh right, like you could go that long."

"Who says I'd have too?"

He frowned at her and reluctantly took the laptop, answering the admittedly interesting questions as best and as honestly as he could. He lifted and eyebrow as the screen changed, reading _Congratulations, you have been sorted into Slytherin House._

"Well what house did you get?" Astrid asked impatiently. He tilted the screen at her and grinned cheekily. "What!? She cried, indignant. "You mean I'm fucking a snake? Really?"

"Seems so, wait, what house are you in?"

"Hufflepuff," she moaned, annoyed.

"Is that bad?"

"Kinda, not really. Not the _most _incompatible. But, yeah, pretty bad."

"Why, I thought Puffs were supposed to get along with everyone?"

"Well...yeah but..." She groaned and stared at the ceiling, apparently attempting to accept the fact that she was sleeping with a Slytherin.

"Well, I need to get to work, you come to grips with...whatever and I'll see you tomorrow. Oh hey, can I snag a shower?"

Astrid just continued to stare at the ceiling, muttering about how life was unfair.

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Retail is one of those industries that no one thinks is that bad, until they work in them. When Hiccup first landed the job at Macy's, he was overjoyed, excited, and eager to interact with new people and learn a little about them. To his credit, his enthusiasm lasted for a lot longer than most. But after three months of being told to make decisions for himself and put the customer first, only to be berated by his manager for not making his sales goals or keeping an area clean, Hiccup was ready to bounce his name tag off the glassiest part of his middle eastern bosses bald spot.

He was so, outrageously done.

The clothing he sold was shit, utter shit. The cheapest stuff would fall apart in _days_ and the mid-level stuff was always, _always_ marked up and easy forty percent. Brands like Calvin Clien and Kenneth Cole were always expected to do well, but priced thirty or forty dollars more than it should be. And he knew it too because after a couple weeks on the floor he'd see his so called 'privet collection' sitting on the clearance rack marked down to pennies. The only thing he sold that was even remotely worthwhile was Polo Ralph Lauren, but none of his customers were willing to shell out eighty five bucks for a polo shirt.

What really got him though, wasn't the way his bosses treated him, or the store or even his coworkers. Shit, he loved the people he worked with. It was the _customers_ that really set his teeth on edge. Always whining about how expensive shit was when the sad truth was, if they actually bought the expensive stuff, they would find themselves buying clothes a whole lot less. At first he couldn't figure it out, couldn't put his finger on why the people that shopped at Macy's bugged him _so much_. After all, it was just regular folks looking for a decent deal right?

Then it hit him.

His customer base were garage sale shoppers, always looking to get things for the absolute cheapest they could. And what killed him was that most of the people he worked with honestly just wanted to save a buck here or there, because life and food and kids are fucking expensive. It wasn't those folks that bugged him, it was the people that had eight credit cards, no money and no budget for clothing. At least at Macy's prices. He supposed he should have seen it coming. Hell, training the stupid video warned him to never send someone to a bargain store if their clothes were outside their price range. Yup, hug red flag there.

"Retail sucks" moaned a heavy set kid from behind him. He was blond and round and totally the wrong personality type to work at a place like this. Way too smart, even if he didn't always show it.

"I hear ya Fishlegs" Hiccup sighed.

He had just gotten to listen to the poor kid get yelled at in broken English by a disgruntled customer. Something about too much money for a shirt, or something. The irony of course being that the item in question was a women's blouse, which were all down stairs. Even if Fishlegs had understood everything the old bat had been saying, he had no idea what the original price of the blouse was because the mark down sticker covered the old price. After fuming and flailing around like, well something really racist, the old woman finally gave up, threw the blouse at Fishlegs and told him, in perfect English this time, that his manager would be hearing from her.

"At least we're in Young Men's" Hiccup said in a weak attempt to sooth the obviously upset Fishlegs. "We only have to deal with that kind of customer once a day." Fishlegs laughed weakly. "Why don't you go give the fitting rooms a walk through, I'm sure it's a wreck back there."

"Sure thing Hiccup" he said, looking relived to get off the sales floor, if only for a few minutes.

"Oh and if you find any American Rag bring it out, I've got a bunch that needs to go back," he called, going back to folding shirts.

"Hey Hiccup, what keeps you going here?" Fishlegs asked as he returned from the fitting rooms, his arms weighed down with a ridiculous amount of unfolded, mangled and wrinkled shirts.

"The rough sex of a good woman" Hiccup joked. Fishlegs went red. "And the fact that I have money to go out and do things with her."

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**So, yeah, sorry this was late, I guess/ Even though it wasn't and fuck you all because I do this when I want to? Seriously, I write this at work when I am bored and have time and this is not an overarching story, it's a drabble series. I write whatever comes to mind and a lot of it has nothing to do with this, so yeah. **


	8. Date Night

**Short sweet and wonderfully sexy. Been stewing on this one for like, psh, 6 months now? Something like that. Anywho, hope you like.**

Astrid fell more than walked through her door, her lips locked desperately in frantic kisses with her boyfriend. Luckily her dorm room was vacant for the evening, her roommate off on her own lecherous liaison. Though after all the drinking she had been doing she didn't much care if Ruffnut _had_ been there that night. After all the dancing and teasing she had done to her poor boyfriend she was quite honestly surprised she still had her panties on. She really did owe him something special for putting up with her and her dangerously short dress with the low cut front and dangerous dancing style. Frankly, she was starting to think that turning down his invitation to fuck roughly in the bathroom had been a good idea.

With a giggle Astrid pulled away from the narcotic that was her boyfriend's lips to flip on her bedside light. No sooner than the little lamp was flicked on was he behind her with his delightfully gangly arms wrapped around her waist and his lips pressed against her neck. Astrid's legs trembled, her head tilting completely on its own to the side, letting him ravage her neck with kisses. When he pulled her tight against him she gasped, and when his teeth grazed the soft surface of her skin she moaned, freely and uninhibited. As her head started to swim she let her eyes drift shut, leaning into him to be lost in his touch.

Before she really understood what had happened, her dress lay around her ankles in a filmy pool, large callused hands cupping her handfuls of breast. Underwear had been _such_ a good idea. Somehow and without her noticing, her bra had managed to unhook itself and through itself across the room to lay against the wall. He was getting better at that.

"Hiccup" she moaned eagerly, not really feeling the buzz from the alcohol anymore. It had been replaced by something else, infinitely hotter and infinitely more disorienting. As much as she wanted to complement her frisky lover on his improving skill with her undergarments she found her words lost on the tip of her tongue, banished to oblivion by the deliriously delightful dance his fingers were doing over her stomach and the band of her underwear.

With a groan she reached behind her, tingling fingers tangling clumsily in Hiccup's auburn hair. She let out another moan for him, capping the sound with a gasp as his teeth bit hard into her flesh, sending bolts of lightning through her neck and down her spine.

"Not too hard," she warned. "I have dance in the morning…don't want to…explain…marks" she muttered, brain going all foggy and breath becoming heavy. Astrid felt her knees tremble and her core go all warm and gooey. Hiccup was generally able to get her wet with just a grin or a snarky come back, but when he really put his mind to it, he could take her from bone dry to dripping wet in seconds flat.

"If you don't want marks you shouldn't let me bite you" he scolded, words laced with dry sarcasm.

Astrid whimpered, "No" and pressed his lips back to her neck, yanking him down with a fist full of his hair.

Ever conflicted when it came to Hiccup, part of Astrid want to crawl onto the bed, tug her thong aside and let Hiccup pound her into the headboard, another part wanted Hiccup to throw her, and still another didn't want to move. Hiccup's belt buckle pulled her out of her confliction, the cold metal pressed against her bare ass distracting her. A playful grin spread across her lips as she turned in his grip.

"You're still dressed." It was a statement, not a question. Followed by her slipping down to her knees and tugged his belt apart. She was a woman possessed as she all but tore his pants open and fished him out. She actually licked her lips when the firm flesh of his member sprang into view. Thank god for slacks, so easy to open and they basically fell off him on their own once his belt came free. They hit the ground with a metallic clank, taking Hiccup's boxer briefs with them. Without even thinking about it her hand slid up and down his aroused flesh, pulling a delightful groan from his throat that made her shiver. She couldn't resist the urge to suck him into her mouth, so she did.

Before Hiccup, Astrid had never really enjoyed giving head but now she found the whole experience deliciously delightful. Mostly she just liked seeing the cute, twisted up face he made and all the sounds he made while he was in her mouth. But part of her, the more selfish part, liked sucking him off because Hiccup was unfortunately quick on the trigger and sucking out that first one generally led to a longer, rougher second, and sometimes even a third.

As she started to bob on him, feeling his thick hardness slide over her tongue she got what she wanted, a husky groan. She had to repress a shiver as his fingers found her hair, encouraging her to keep going as his breathing quickened and his face twisted in pleasure. She smiled around him, bobbing faster and sucking harder on him, stroking the part of his shaft not in her mouth. Her free hand traveled up under his shirt, pressing her palm against his abs as she blew him.

As she expected Hiccup was not long in finishing, all the teasing she had done to him over the night gushing out of him in four, thick spurts. She swallowed every drop as he slipped out of her mouth, a cheeky grin on her lips. She stood up in a flash and pressed her lips to his, sharing his taste with her. He grimaced which made her giggle.

"You taste better" he said in a low voice with a grin of his own. "In fact." His turn to slide down her body, pulling her thong off as he did. She gasped hard when his lips found her clit in a soft kiss, her hand slamming his face to her perfectly smooth vulva with enough force to bruise. Her thighs spread apart, eager to have that skilled tongue on her again. She groaned, grinding herself against his face when he sucked her clit into her mouth.

"Hiccup!" She moaned sharply, twitched as he hit something sweet. Before she knew it she was on her back, laying on her bed with Hiccup feasting on her, making her writhe and moan in bliss as he found all the right places. "Get up here" she moaned, all lust and no reason. "Fuck me hard."

Not her best line, but it was all she had at the moment. In seconds Hiccup's shirt and tie were on the floor and he was laying over her. She felt the head of his shaft at her entrance and sucked in a deep breath as he slid into her. They shared a moan as her wet heat wrapped around him. "Fuck yes!"

Hiccup wasted no time, driving deep into her with thrusts that shook the bed and made her shriek with pleasure. Her neighbors _hated_ when Hiccup came over, Astrid didn't know how to be quite. She only got louder as Hiccup picked up speed, the frame of her bed knocking loudly against the paper thin but somehow hollow walls.

"Condom?" Hiccup asked, stopping his motion for a second.

"Don't care" Astrid panted. "Just fuck me." Hiccup shrugged and resumed, thrusting into her in a steady rhythm that had her panting for breath. Hiccup pressed close to her, kissing her neck while he drove into her, listening to her gasp as his deep thrusts pushed the air from her lungs. She actually coughed. "Yes, oh god yes" she cried breathlessly, Her voice high pitched in way he only ever heard her use when she was either crying or, well, exactly where she was now.

This was a bad idea, she knew this was a bad idea. But she just didn't care right now. Hiccup felt too good and she was way too gone. Besides, if Hiccup stopped now she might die. She was so close.

"Don't stop. Don't stop."

He didn't stop. With a groan that made her body shutter he slammed himself into her one last glorious time and emptied himself. She felt it, the warm rush of heat flowing into her over stimulated body and it made her body tighten, clench hard on him, holding him in place as her legs wrapped around him, not letting him go. It was stupid and cliché but she loved it when he came in her, feeling him empty himself inside her then just lay there, buried balls deep in her with his body pressing down on top of her. If there was a better way to enjoy the high that came with sex she didn't know it. It was perfect.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Astrid unhooked her legs and let him go. She shivered when he slid out of her, a lingering wave of pleasure flowing through her. She rolled with the dumbest grin on her face onto her side, unable to help the warm, satisfied feeling that flowed into her chest when she felt his lean body press in behind her. Another stupid cliché, but Astrid loved to spoon with Hiccup. Maybe it was because his body touched all of her, maybe it was his cock in the crux of her ass, she didn't know. She didn't care.

"Good date" she said, finally. Her grin had not abated.

"Glade you like it" came his husky voice in her ear. Astrid's grin spread, she knew that voice. That was the voice that told her he was particularly frisky tonight, and that she was in for a sore morning.

"Not over yet?" She asked, trying to keep the hope out of her voice.

"Fuck no, get on top."


End file.
